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I'm sitting here reflecting how in today's society women are persuaded to look and feel a certain way because of what is shown on social media and television. We make up in our minds how loud our voice should be because we are fearful others may judge us.

I asked myself, “Is there a deeper root to self-love, self-acceptance, and self-esteem?” My answer is YES! The way we see ourselves stems from how we were raised and treated as a child. Until you heal from what was broken, you will always come back to the same valley you tried to climb from.

I remember growing up and being picked on because my body developed at an early age. I felt hurt and alone because I was the outcast in the classroom. It didn't help having extra weight and being called “chubby.” Those thoughts and feelings can destroy someone who don't have strong spiritual roots planted inside of them.

I thank God for my praying grandmother and mother. They have always told me to be who you are NO MATTER WHAT! You don't quite understand that statement at age 12.When I was 18 years old fresh out of high school my main focus was going off to college and leaving home. I was ready to be independent.

Preparing myself for the real world seemed so easy especially after meeting prince charming (so I thought). He wooed me into believing that he was the only man who could make me happy. At that time I was foolish enough to believe him. My past allowed my mind to be wrapped up in a man wanting and needing me whether it was for the right reasons or not. I thought I had it all because he was whispering he loved me alongside him being verbally abusive. He would start arguments with me to manipulate and control my mind and emotions. I started seeing a pattern in the abuse and misconstrued it with it being normal.

When a man is abusive, it represents his weakness. It represent the broken pieces he's carrying. It represent his inability to love you past the weight he is carrying. It has nothing to do with what you have done. It's not your fault. Pack your bags and run like hell! I actually thought if I left the relationship then my world would crumble. Because I used him as a scapegoat for my “daddy” issues it allowed me to stay in the relationship a lot longer than I should have. I knew I wasn't in love him. I was just afraid of being alone. I was afraid that I wouldn't be beautiful in any other man’s eyes.

The fact of the matter is when you love yourself, you won't allow another soul to belittle you or disrespect your honor as a Queen. When a man loves you, HE WILL SHOW YOU! You don't have to settle for a man who make you wait to spend time with him. It's in a man nature to hunt and go after what he want. He's ONLY going to do what you allow.

Yes my ex was a no good piece of trash, but he showed me no matter what you do for a man it holds no value if he doesn't first see you. You will know how a man truly feel by how he treats you. Now don't get me wrong all men aren't the same.

Developing a personal relationship with God is key. Allow God to piece your heart back together. In him is where we learn what unconditional love truly is. God made you in his image. The best way to find love is to find God. Have faith in him. Trust God to give you the desires of your heart. Never settle for anything less than you deserve.

If you are currently waiting for your soulmate, take this time to work on yourself. The older you get you realize your voice is the only one that matter. Everybody else talking is too loud. Other people thoughts about you is none of your business. You can't focus on that.

Remember, God created you to be in his image. Just as an artist creates an award-winning masterpiece that reflects who he or she is as a professional, we were created as the crowning glory of God’s creation, and we reflect him as a servant.

The next step is figuring out why he created you. What is your purpose? You were created to be of service, to be honorable and compassionate. Finding your purpose can mean taking steps to what you want, and removing those things in your life that hinder you from living your life authentically. You can start by waking up every morning with a grateful heart.

Have your mind set on what your heart truly desires. God sends us messages to keep our feet moving in the right direction. Listen for his voice and ask for discernment. Allow him to help you release what's blocking you from being happy, loved, and accepted. Everything that was placed on the inside of you is coming to fruition.

What God have for you, it is just for YOU! Nobody can take it away. Others may tell you that you aren't qualified enough. Just tell them, “God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called!”

The greatest gift you can give the world is your true self. Learn who you are and accept yourself as you are. People love you at the level they see themselves. You have the power to decide whether the toxicity stay in your life or not. You have the power to say no to self-hatred, self-abuse, and dishonoring who you are.

Don't conform to make other people happy. You have to be good enough for you. When you accept your flaws folk can't use them against you. God’s promises for your life requires your full trust and commitment to seek him first. You are beautiful! You’re strong! You are powerful.


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