Updated: Nov 5, 2018
If you've ever taken a psychology class then you may have heard of the developmental psychologist Erik Erikson. He believed the environment in which a child grew up in was crucial to forming their sense of self awareness.
We grow up with uncertainty and confusion in which we feel insecure.
All too often we grow up believing we are supposed to be a certain way because that is how it's always been. We grow up with uncertainty and confusion in which we feel insecure. We start to notice negative behavior patterns that are attached to us by default.
Growing up in a single parent home was difficult with my mom portraying both roles. The positive side was seeing her strength and ambition to overcome the stigma. She taught me to be strong and take care of business no matter what.
I developed some of her characteristics when it involved men. I saw her as the strong independent woman who didn't need a man for anything. I carried that same mentality until I too became a single mother. I was a broken woman raising a child alone. In the beginning I was feeling defeated because I wanted to be the strong woman, but I knew God didn't intend for my life to be that way. I knew that I was more than just a “baby mama”. I tried figuring out the correlation between me and other women who are left to raise a child alone. We don't wake up and anticipate on being as such.
I've learned that although some single mothers show the superwoman characteristics, there are still deep underlying issues that is carried on the inside.
For me it was not having a sense of identity or self worth. I equated how much a man loved me by how much he gave me. My self worth depended on who I was trying to please. I've learned that although some single mothers show the superwoman characteristics, there are still deep underlying issues that is carried on the inside. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not defying a woman's strength. I'm simply saying that until we first recognize and get to the core of the situation we can not heal. We have to acknowledge where all the broken pieces unraveled. We can't evenhandedly put them back together, but we can give our pieces to the potter who created us. He is the only way we can be healed and mended back together.
I couldn't allow the enemy to get my mind wrapped up in things that caused me to deter from my purpose.
In order to start the process, I had to first be willing to make Jesus my Lord. I had to bind the spirit of defeat and declare that I was more than a generational curse. I was going to try a new way of living. I knew how it felt not having a father in my household. I didn't want that for my son. I couldn't allow the enemy to get my mind wrapped up in things that caused me to deter from my purpose. That meant I had to choose being either being a side chick to a man who left me with broken pieces or be a wife to a man who wanted to be my peace.
Whether it a single motherhood, drugs, abuse, and etc. that may be a stronghold over your family. It is time to declare that the curse stops with you. Ever since you were born, God knew you were special. He knew that everything that tried to take you out would be conquered. You may have been set up by default, but that is not how your story ends. Philippians 3:13-14 says, “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” So no matter what your past or current circumstances look like, keep pressing. Don't give up on what you were called to do. The curse is broken.