Are you currently in the midst of a test? Or is it temptation?
Throughout this journey of life we understand that we will face trials and tribulations. So often many times our first response to the situation is that it is simply a test. No one could tell me that I didn’t understand the difference between test and temptation, and in the carnal sense that was correct. We can google the definition of anything. But when I truly began to seek God, it was in a moment of singing praises that God enlightened me and I began to understand how life begins to evolve when we understand the difference of the two in the spiritual sense.
Scripture says in James 1:13 – 14 (NLT) And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say ”‘God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never temps anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.
Test is defined as an event or situation that reveals the strength or quality of someone or something by putting them under strain.
Temptation is defined as a desire to do something, especially something wrong or unwise. Something that causes a strong urge or desire to have or do something and especially something that is bad, wrong, or unwise.
I had to come to the realization that a lot of my pain was a result of me falling into temptation while in the midst of a test.
As I stated before I know the definition, just as others but as I reflected back on many situations in my life, I had to come to the realization that a lot of my pain was a result of me falling into temptation while in the midst of a test. I felt that I was strong enough to resist the thing that tempted me. Only to look up and realize that I wasn’t as strong as I thought and that if I had simply chosen to not go to that event or not entertain that person and so on that particular situation could have been avoided.
In all honesty, this has been one of the most trying years of my life, there was good, bad, ugly, pretty, ups, downs and all around. It was life or death for me both physically and spiritually.
As I dealt with depression and anxiety my faith was truly being tested and temptations were on every corner. Upon my decision to live and fight for my mind, body and soul as God had created me to do. Evolution began and the test seemed to become harder but I realized that the things and people that appeased my desires just seem to be everywhere I turned.
I had asked God at the beginning of 2018 during our church’s corporate fast to prepare me for all He had destined for me and to equip me to do His will, His way. My test consisted of me learning to continuously seek God in all that I do, strengthening my prayer life, controlling my emotions, when to say no, becoming intentional about the relationships I was building, who I surrounded myself with, what I poured into myself and so on.
But I began to question if maybe I was being too picky, was I asking too much, is there something wrong with me and so on.
My temptations appeared when it came to my desire to have a husband. I’m a hopeless romantic and I love all things that bring peace, love and happiness. But I began to question if maybe I was being too picky, was I asking too much, is there something wrong with me and so on. My fear of being lonely and not lovable also surfaced. Exes from my past started to reappear and there was this one I went to church with that pursued me but I always felt something wasn’t right. Well I gave in to my desire and gave the guy at my church a chance, even after asking God and His response was no.
So the guy broke my heart and those exes seemed to appear at the most opportune moment. Still feeding into my desire, I connected with my ex. I had no one to blame for this but myself because my desire for what I wanted was greater than my desire of God and what He wanted of and for me. It was good in the beginning, but it didn’t last.
I don’t have this thing all figured out but I am creating the habit of seeking God first in all that I do. No one is perfect and we all will fall short at times but God’s grace is sufficient and His love unconditional. The Bible states that it will rain on the just as well as the unjust (Matthew 5:45).
As long as we are on this journey of life, we will encounter test and temptations along the way. If you have mastered the ability distinguishing between the two then my prayer for you is continuous growth and blessings but if you haven’t don’t despair because God meets us where we are according our individual journeys. My prayer for you is that the Holy Spirit falls upon you revealing and healing with love and conviction.
Be blessed, be encourage but most of all be your best you! God loves you so much and so do I.