Hey Majestic Daughters! What's happening?
If you’re reading this you probably have a hard time standing up for yourself. Girl, me too! You agree to do things that you really don’t have the time or desire to do. Maybe you tolerate people that say rude remarks to you and you just grit your teeth. Girl, me too!
However, we are not stepping into 2020 allowing others to access our personal space. Nope! We are going to set personal boundaries and free ourselves from that people pleasing spirit.
Girl, we are supposed to be like David after God’s heart. So why are we out here in these streets trying to please people. I always say, “People will clap for you today and stab you in the back tomorrow!” Figuratively speaking but you get my point.
So here are 3 steps to set personal boundaries in your life:
1. Become self-aware that there is something within you that desires to please others. You have to become empowered to change the things that bring you the most pain. The ability to not set boundaries for yourself can be an unnecessary painful journey.
2. Become guitless in setting your boundaries with others. Your willingness to protect your inner joy and peace is your priority. You should never feel guilty for protecting your greatness. Never allow anyone to prostitute your gift for their personal gain.
3. Become strong in standing up for yourself. You trying to avoid confrontation often neglects your emotions and you suppress how you truly feel. That's not fair to you, nor the other people involved. How can they grow if you never tell them their weaknesses?
Setting personal boundaries is often an overlooked art. Even Jesus set up personal boundaries when he was here on earth. Remember Jesus frequently withdrew to the wilderness to pray. (Luke 5:16)
You must make this a regular practice to set personal boundaries within your relationships whether it be your parents, children, spouse, friends, co-workers, church members, etc.
In the moments that you feel like you're losing energy, you feel that knot in your stomach or want to cry - be a person of prayer, always maintaining close fellowship with God.
There is a grace on your life to set firm boundaries with grace and a neutral tone. You don't have to be mean to set boundaries. Just this past week I had to set boundaries within a relationship and honestly for the first time in my life I felt liberated in deciding to take care of myself.
It will be uncomfortable the first time you do it and maybe even the second time but it's necessary. You are not obligated to defend, debate, or over-explain your feelings. Say what you mean and mean what you say but say it nicely.
The only way to break the cycle of people pleasing is to stand firm in your decision and don't give in to the pressure.
Girl, drop me a comment below. Do you struggles with this? If so, what are you going to do to change it? If you've overcome it. What are some practical and/or spiritual tips you can share with the rest of us?