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Writer's pictureCalandra Williams

Before I Let Go!



I remember struggling to surrender my life to Christ a few years ago. I had given Christ the parts of me I thought He could handle and kept the ones I thought He couldn’t fix. It wouldn’t be long before He would ask for me to surrender that too.


Before I could fully submit I had to acknowledge that I had a problem and that I needed God’s help to restore me. It was during the summer of 2014 and I vividly remember crying in church for most of the service because I was so afraid to let go of what had been attached to me since my childhood.


Oh my, I haven’t even told you my struggle yet! I was a SERIAL DATER! I was the girl that had to have a man. I felt complete with a man and without them I felt rejected.


My aha moment in life was Jesus identifying my sin and telling me to hand it over to Him completely. I must admit that I thought that surrendering that part of my life meant that I would have to give up the dream of one day being married. I was under the assumption that God would punish me for my wrong doings.


Honestly, all I had to do was give up my obsession with men, fall in love with Jesus and allow Him to mold me into the woman He created me to be.


Before I decided to let go, my life didn’t glorify God. How could I effectively witness to others when I was still wrestling with this kind of sin? If I was going to live for Christ I had to be willing to let, go of what I once knew to discover something better.


I surrendered and allowed God to manifest His plan and to get to the glory out of my story. I did pray for God to bless me with a mate and I did ask for a few specifics:


1. Lord, I pray that they love you more than me

2. Lord, let him have 1 kid with no baby mama drama or no kids

3. Lord, let him love me the way that Christ loves the church

4. Lord, I pray that He accepts my three children


These are just a few things I prayed for, but God blew my mind when He sent my now husband in 2015. He was everything I prayed for and much more. Through my obedience to fully surrender my life to Christ my life became more meaningful and it honors God.


I know it can be hard surrendering everything not knowing what’s to come but truly ask yourself: ‘Do you believe if you let go that God will bless you with more than you can imagine or ask for?’


If your answer is yes, then you’re ready to let go. If your answer is no, then I want you to consider praying for God to grant you clarity and peace in deciding to let go.


I know the struggle is real, but you’re not alone. So, if you need prayer, feel free to shoot me an email.

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