Growing up and even into my 30’s I wanted nothing to do with women when it came to building friendships. Every experience I had was that they were snotty, backstabbers, catty, and untrustworthy. I could barely handle working side by side with them let alone becoming friends! I had a negative mindset due to a few personal experiences and I refused to see it any other way. Women were not on my list of favorites. However, as time went on God showed me a few things and changed my heart.
He began to reveal that many other women felt the same way that I did and had experienced the same drama and negativity. He also put me in a network marketing business that caused me to be surrounded by women. Go figure! Slowly but surely, I realized that there are real women who want to uplift and encourage each other. Who aren’t out to steal the spotlight, create competition, or be a drama momma. While I still have moments where I don’t trust, I have been able to decipher between the women who have my back and the women who may be out to stab me in the back. Yes, there are still some who will do that. “The devil roams like a lion, seeking who he may devour.” Not everyone you meet will be a friend. Some are foes disguised as a friend. Be diligent with who you bring into your circle.
As I continued to grow in this area, God has given me some amazing women to have in my circle. I couldn’t ask for better (You know who you are!) But more importantly, it has allowed me to become a woman that reaches out to other women who may be feeling the same way I did. One of my missions now is to shine a light that reflects God and what He says we should be to each other.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (KJV) - Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
We are to help each, lift each other up, teach each other, and most of all love each other as Christ loves us. We fail so greatly to show the love of God to other women. This love is not just about a pat on the back and a hug. It also means having to say the hard things. Jesus told the woman who was accused of adultery to “Go and sin no more”. He didn’t let her continue the path that she was on. That is part of His love for us. This is the hardest part about supporting other women. Sometimes, we must love someone enough to warn them of the danger they are walking in or heading towards. This is where we must be knowledgeable in scripture and know how to say it with love so that we don’t come across as unbiblically judgmental or even hypocritical.
Sometimes, it also requires our silence, when all that is left to do is pray for one another. Words or hugs do not always help. The greatest help of all is prayer. I am so thankful for God’s grace in giving me the privilege to approach Him in prayer. As women, God holds us up in a special place. He recognizes our beauty, weakness, strength, and position. We must recognize that in each other. As women we have varying degrees of desires, insecurities, doubts, fears, struggles, and so on. We come from different pasts, but all have many similarities.
As woman we have always…
wanted more (Eve)
expected more (Martha)
strived to be accepted (woman at the well)
longed to be loved (Ruth)
desired to shine (Dorcas)
If you haven’t read about those women of the bible, and the many others, I encourage you to do so. You may just find how much you have in common with them. These common traits that we all carry allow us to have a special bond with each other and with God. We are not of lower or higher value than anyone else regardless of our position or status in this world. Let’s be mindful of this fact when developing relationships with women and reaching out to other women. We may have strength alone, but we are a force to be reckoned with when we come together!