Relying on our “self” or how the bible would say, our “flesh” for confidence is a very unstable situation. We are weak. I know that you may be thinking, “How dare she say that I am weak. I am a strong woman!” Just read on before jumping to any sort conclusion. You alone are weak!
Matthew 26:41 (KJV)
Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed [is] willing, but the flesh [is] weak.
Haven’t you ever felt moments of despair or complete loneliness as if no one understood what you are going through? Have you ever felt like you didn’t live up to the expectations that you think others put on you? What about feeling like no matter what you do it isn’t ever good enough, so you don’t bother doing anything? I know at some point I have felt all of those and my weak flesh still likes to bring those feelings up. The feelings of the lack of “self-confidence”.
Signs/Reasons for Lack of Confidence:
We are dependent on others to make us feel confident or worthy. We do things to get the recognition from others rather than doing things in service for others to get the praise of God.
Dependent on what others think of us.
We have the “I can’t” attitude because someone once told us “that will never happen” or “you will never be able to do that.”
We grew up in a negative environment that assumed that life “just happens” instead of life being what we make it.
We were abused physically and/or mentally as a child or even as an adult.
We expect others to make us feel good or to fix our life (entitlement attitude).
We believe that it is everyone else’s fault.
We are angry at or unforgiving of others.
We have the mentality “everyone is out to get me”.
I have good news though. We have something more than “self” to give us all the confidence we need and the only true confidence. When you realize that who you are is who God made you and He has a purpose for you, your confidence is untouchable. You no longer fear what others think because you know their thoughts or even their actions will not stop the beautiful plan God has created for you.
Ephesians 2:10 (KJV)
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
When you fill yourself with God’s love, you can overcome those moments of weakness that causes us to lose our confidence. You will still have those days that you feel unloved, unwanted, unworthy, and incapable. I won’t lie and say you won’t which is why we must depend on the one who is always steady to give us the confidence we need to live out the life He has purposed for us.
When our confidence is built on Him nothing can stop us and no can bring us down. When we seek His will and not the will of others, we can undoubtedly accomplish anything. When we stop fearing what people think and start concerning ourselves with what God thinks we will no longer feel like we need to please everyone else.
God expects perfection, but He already knows we aren’t perfect and can’t be while on this earth because of sin. That is why he sent His son to die on the cross for us. For those who believe and have a personal relationship with His son, He already sees as perfect because we are covered in the blood of Jesus and have been made whole. We are no longer chained to our worldly imperfections and we have the power of the Holy Spirit in us to overcome anything and to accomplish anything.
Ephesians 3:14-19 (KJV)
For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.
Philippians 4:13 (KJV)
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.