I remember being tired
I remember being hurt
I remember being in my room searching for courage and could not find anything that would give me the strength or motivation to keep going.
I remember being in church all my life and pastors would say, "There will come a time where you cannot call momma, grandmamma, daddy or uncle, but the only person you will be able to call is Jesus."
Allow me to share with you, now was my time. Now I have had a few times where I had to call Jesus and dig deep for him but this time, I had to search for him. As I was searching for him, I remembered the scripture that stated "renew their strength" but I could not remember the entire scripture, I remember so vividly, googling "scripture that talks about renewing strength" and after searching for some time I found it.
Isaiah 40:31 which states, "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint"
I wrote the scripture on my dry erase board.
I broke the scripture down to help build myself up:
-But for those who hope in the Lord - Any statement made after the word "BUT" negates the statements that came before it. This statement confirmed a change of trajectory for me, yes I was hurt, tired and weak but all I needed was to just have hope in the Lord.
-Will renew their strength- To renew means to replace something that is worn down or broken- I was broken into pieces; I needed to replace my brokenness with hope in order to gain strength.
-They will soar on wings like eagles- Eagles fly high; they fly above the small things. Their eyesight is considered their strongest sense and is 4-5 better than a human.
-They will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint- the last two sentences gave me confidence that I could run this race of life by running and walking. I realized that in order to run the race of life, I could not run or walk in my own strength, I have to run in the strength of Jesus. I have to walk in his courage, wisdom, and leadership.
This scripture renewed my soul, mind, and body. I exchanged my weariness for God's peace and love.
I was able to be calm through the chaos
I was able to laugh through the madness
I was able to bring light to dark places
This was the scripture that allowed me to lay down all my burdens, problems, pains and forced me to get to know Jesus for myself.
I was able to love and trust God
Love and trust myself
Love and trust those who God had blessed me with.
God allows us to experience those low moments in life for a reason because it is in those low moments where we can reach up, look up or stand up to find HIM.