I walked into a room full of beautiful people, initially feeling confident and strong. As seconds passed, however, it began to feel like I was in another dimension. It was as if everyone was moving around me but I was standing still. I saw their lips moving but all I could hear were my thoughts. My thoughts were screaming at me! "Why are you here? You don't belong! Just turn around and leave!" So that's exactly what I did.
As a teenager I wanted to model. The room I entered was for an audition. I was afraid that I wouldn't be good enough, but I pushed myself to go. When I got there, girls older than me, prettier, with more poise were all lined up to walk the runway. Their hair was long and flowing with flawless skin. They walked with such confidence. I wouldn't be selected to stand by them. I wasn't good enough. So why even try?
I ran and I ran fast. I dodged facing my fears and jumped over standing up to my doubtful thoughts. I sprinted pass my opportunities, leaping into the arms of complacency and comfort. That place was my safety net. My reflection of self was an image of my back because I couldn't bare to face myself in the mirror. "I am a child of God and I am fearfully and wonderfully made." I knew the truth of that statement but couldn't let it shine through due to my insecurities.
What are you running from? Is it a conversation, a relationship, a career, a business, an opportunity that God has placed in front of you...all because you don't believe in yourself enough to try? You must believe with your heart and mind that you are created special, one of a kind. You must be strong and confident in knowing that YOU DESERVE! We run from situations because we are fearful of what the outcome may be, because we are afraid of rejection. We don't stand up for ourselves because we feel we may be embarrassed or judged. We don't try because we feel that people won't understand. The enemy will come to attack when we are weak. We must operate from our inner strength, what God has given us.
"This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord, your God is with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9 NLT
I had to realize that I am never alone because God is always with me. I am capable of achieving all things with persistence, dedication, and confidence in who I am as a woman. I will never truly fail with God on my side. The Lord is my confidence. The Lord is OUR confidence. This is verified in Proverbs.
"For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.”
Proverbs 3:26 KJV
I decided to stand tall in this knowledge. I walked into another audition with my new mindset and with belief in myself. I saw the other beautiful women and no longer felt intimidated. I gave it my all and I was selected! Now does this mean that I was chosen every time? Absolutely not. However when I walked in with confidence and my head held high, I knew that my lack of faith in self was not the reason. I found peace in that.
We reach our fullest potential by putting our trust and faith in the Lord! He has so much he wants to give us but we must first be in a position to receive. Things may not go as WE have planned, but they will ALWAYS go as HE has planned if we live right and don't rush the process.
“So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.”
Hebrews 10:35-36 NLT
Application Time: Let's start our day by boldly stating and believing this powerful statement... "I AM A CHILD OF GOD. I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE!"